Tuesday, September 15, 2009

People don't believe it's true...

Shy 1 (sh)
adj. shi·er (shr) or shy·er, shi·est (shst) or shy·est
1. Easily startled; timid.
2. a. Drawing back from contact or familiarity with others; retiring or reserved.
b. Marked by reserve or diffidence: a shy glance.
3. Distrustful; wary: shy of strangers.
Synonyms: shy1, bashful, diffident, modest, coy, demure
These adjectives mean not forward but marked by a retiring nature, reticence, or a reserve of manner. One who is shy draws back from others, either because of a withdrawn nature or out of timidity: "The poor man was shy and hated society" (George Bernard Shaw).
Bashful suggests self-consciousness or awkwardness in the presence of others: "I never laughed, being bashful./Lowering my head, I looked at the wall" (Ezra Pound).
Diffident implies lack of self-confidence: He was too diffident to express his opinion.

I found this definition here

Shy 2 or "shyness"
A crippling condition that causes one to draw away from others in social situations. It is, in fact, a fear of other people, especially people you are not familiar with. This condition can lead to tense relationships, lost opportunities, or a wrong reputation of being "rude" or "stuck up" Shyness has been found to usually be caused by a lack of confidence in ones self and even a dislike of ones self.

I found this definition in the recesses of my brain...

I've always been shy, ever since I was a very little girl. I used to hide when people would come to visit my parents. If I ever had to do a presentation at school I would hold my papers in front of my face. I once puked in front of the entire school at a Christmas concert because I couldn't stand the fact that I was standing in front of all those people, dressed as a snowflake. (I was in grade 2) It's always been a part of who I am. I did grow out of it as I got older and had more opportunities put in front of me. I've sang in front of large crowds of people, I've shared my testimony with complete strangers, I taught English to adults overseas, I even MC'd Millar's YouthEdge! So I'm not hopeless.

But sometimes the shyness creeps up on me and takes over. Especially when I meet new people. Which is really an unfortunate time to get shy because I know from experience that it makes a person look like a snob. I'm not a snob, I'm just really shy! Seriously! I started thinking about why I'm shy. What causes me to want to flee when I'm put into some social situations? It's really a very pitiful and selfish reason...

I don't really like myself all that much at times.

Which is stupid because I know who created me and I know He loves me and sees all sorts of potential in me. Besides, the fact that Christ is in me makes it so that I don't even have to worry about what others think of me, or of being rejected. "Greater is He who is in me then he who is in the world."

Plus I'm scared of people. I really am.

Which is also stupid because they are just people, just like me! So why not just smile and love people, not be scared of them. Afterall, "perfect love casts out all fear..."

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