Michelangelo

Michelangelo didn't just paint church ceilings, he also was a great sculptor as well. Michelangelo would get a huge, shapeless hunk of marble and start by using a large hammer and chisel to break away large chunks of the marble block away. After that he would use a smaller hammer and chisel to chip away at the marble to define the shape he was making. After that process was over sand paper would be used to round edges, smooth areas and define even more what Michelangelo was creating. And finally he would use a damp velvet cloth to smooth and shine the finished product, resulting in something such as this...

Many people would ask ole "Mike" how he created that from a hunk of marble. He would reply, "I didn't, it was there all along. I just let it out." He called it "Releasing the form inside"

All this reminded me of mankind and untimatly myself. I believe God created us all with something beautiful and wonderful and amazing inside of us. God created
me with something beautiful and wonderful and amazing inside of me! But ever since I was about 8 years old I havn't believed that to be true. That wonderful thing inside of me had been knocked around, chipped and roughed up. But it's still inside of me, waiting to come out for me to put to use and for the world to see.

But as Michelangelo shows us it ain't always a pretty process getting that out. It needs to be chiseled away, chipped, broken and sanded down. Fortunatly after all that comes the velvet cloth to sooth and shine.

If I want to live as God truly intended me to I need to bring out what He's already placed inside of me. Bring on the chisel Lord.

Smoking=Unattractive

Today I was driving out to deliever the mail and I noticed a 25ish year old guy standing by the water treatment center that I had never seen before. As I drove closer I will admit, I was checking him out. He was a very good looking guy, I was thinking to myself, "That guy is gooooood lookin" when he put a cigarette up to his mouth, drew in a deep breath and puffed it slowly back out into the brisk air.

Suddenly not so good looking. Smoking is not attractive at all.

Extreme Makeover: Joni Edition

No I'm not going through a makeover in the sense that I get a new hair style and colour, and get a new wardrobe I'm talking about more of a soul makeover. This week my small group Bible study started a new study, it's called Breakaway. It's all about breaking away from the world and living the way Christ intended ME to.

"Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world but be transformed by the renewing of your mind..."

Most of the time I feel very comfortable conforming; being like the crowd. I've never really been one of those stick-out-in-the-crowd type of people, I really enjoy blending in in fact but that's not exactly what Christ has called me to. In the first session of this study we talked about our belief system and how that affects our decisions which ultimatly brings about certain outcomes in our lives. If we have obscure, unbiblical and ungodly belief systems it affects our entire life. When you are unhappy with your life it's usually because of the outcome. Whenever I am unhappy with an outcome in my life I tend to run away but I'm still me, I still have the same messed up belief system. So things remain the same. Thus I need to transform my thinking; my beliefs before I can be happy with who God created me to be and the outcomes of my life.

And so the transformation begins. It's not going to pleasant all the time, I know that already. As in any renovations it can get messy! But I'm committed to changing my whhhack beliefs!

I'll keep ya posted.

Sleepless in...my basement

I can't sleep. This happens to me every once in a while and I can't seem to pinpoint what the issue is that makes me temporarily insomnic (I'm not even sure insomnic is a word but bear with me) Is it gastric problems? No. A acting up foot fungas? No. An overactive mind? Possibly. But I can't figure out what it would be overacting on. Doesn't really seem like there's much going on up there considering that I can't come up with anything more interesting to write in this random episode of the bloggity-blog.

What are some ways I could put myself to sleep? So far I tried reading, that didn't work, I just got wrapped up in the story. So then I turned on the tv and watched an episode of "My Name is Earl". That didn't work either, it was funny! So now I'm blogging. I'm not feeling any more tired. Was "any more" supposed to be one word in that past sentence? The popular tv sitcom method of making a person sleepy is to drink warm milk. That just grosses me out.

I just reread what I wrote and noticed all my grammer errors but I'm not going to correct them so you can have some fun pretending to be an English teacher while you read this. I know that if James Ranson was reading this he would have for sure noticed every mistake I made, I apprecate that about him! Who needs spell check when you've got a James Ranson around!

Well I think I'm going to watch an episode of Hannah Montana and see if that makes me sleepy. Thanks for checkin in!

Just everyday life

Well...I don't really have anything to say today but I thought to myself, "I havn't written anything in the bloggidy-blog for a while" and not wanting to dissapoint all of my bloggidy-blog readers, (that's right all 8 of you!) I decided to write something anyway. So now you've been warned, this may not be interesting!

Nothing of interest has happened in my life latley. Just work, starting up youth group, small group bible study and life in general. Oh and I recently completed the Red Cross course to become a First Responder. It was pretty intense stuff but I really enjoyed the course. I got to have my own little dummy to practice CPR on, in case your wondering I named him Bartholemew and we got along qite well, although that might have had something to do with the fact that I saved his life at least 8 times. I also got to experience being strapped onto a spine board, it was a bit unnerving but I got through it, my blood pressure was quite high after the whole ordeal though!

Let me give you some advice if you are thinking of taking any form of advanced first aide, if you don't like people touching you don't take the course!

tea parties and ballarina moves

Last week I had a tea party with my friends 3 year old daughter. It was a marvelous time! She brought over her princess tea set...I drank from the Sleeping Beauty cup. I made ice tea, served some chocolate cookie type things as well as apples with cheese slices. The tea party began! We drank a lot of ice tea, ate he entire plate of goodies and talked about life, from a 3 year olds point of view! After we had devoured all the tea party goodness we turned on the tv to watch the Wiggles. If you've never watched them you should.
We were dancing along with the amazing Wiggles when T. looked at me and said, "Watch me okay, it's going to be incredible!" She did a twirling, tippy toe ballarina dance move...and it was incredible.

Learn from your dreams

Last night I had a scary dream...

I dreamt that it was time for our camp staff appeciation banquet and I apparently thought I could handle planning and executing EVERYTHING for it. Without prior preparations. I was trying to make sure the turkey got cooked fully at the same time I was trying to finish putting together the game board for Camp-Family Feud. I was trying to make to make alfredo sauce without a recipe while people were telling me it was time to make the thank you speech. Supper was late, the games didn't go as planned (in fact they went horrible) and no one recieved a candy beside their plate.

Everyone was very, very angry with me. There was yelling coming at me from all sides causing me to cry my big, green eyes out. It was horrible. Just when I thought I couldn't take it any longer and I was making plans to fly to Romania and change my name to Olga I woke up. I woke up to realize that the appreciation banquet is almost a month away still.

And then I decided to ask Debbie to be in charge of the meal.

President Bennett

So who's vote do I have?!

You Learn This At Camp...

It's true.

If Everyone Cared...?

I recently actually listened to this song as I was driving down the road one day and I just really liked it. Thought I would share it, what do you guys think about the message in it? Or is there even a message?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dP8AGLgt6dQ

God's Unlikely Angels

Have you ever met a person who you know God brought into your life for a purpose? Even if it's just for a few hours, or even minutes. Sometimes you have to stop and wonder if you've just been visited by an angel in disguise. I sure have.

One of them is Sunny.

Over Easter break 12 of us went on an SBBC Ministry Trip to Calgary. We spent the week serving together, praying together, singing together, living together and having fun times together. One of the places we served at (for 2 of our days in Calgary) was The Mustard Seed. This proved to be the highlight of my week and it was here God brought an unlikely angel into my life when I needed one.

On Friday morning we woke up bright and early to be at the Mustard Seed by 6am. The plan was to prepare and serve breakfast until 11am. It turned out that only 9 of us were needed and wanted in the kitchen, so three of us stayed behind to be assigned other jobs. I was given the job of door keeper. Basically I stood at the door that went into the dining hall, letting people in and out (I got to have a walkie talkie and a card key which was a perk!) Enter Sunny into my day. He was sitting at the door where I was to take over for him. He came across as a little intimidating to me as he explained what I was supposed to do as door watcher. I remember he said, "We're not really supposed to sit on chairs while doing this but I'm sort of a lazy ass" (this is what makes me think of him as an unlikely angel :) and so off he went, leaving me at the door.

Now back up a bit here. We all go through times in our lives where we feel far away from God, and when we know we are doing things that aren't pleasing to him. That's where I was before and during this trip (and still now but I am working through it with God's grace evident) I remember thinking so many times during the week in Calgary thought s such as, "I'm not worthy to be a leader on this trip", "What gives me the right to lead these teens in worship?", "Why am I even here, I shouldn't be doing ministry" All lies being fed to me by satan and I was falling for them, dwelling on my wrongs and not moving towards God's grace in my life.

Sunny didn't know any of this, he only knew my name and that I was part of a team from Silver Birch Bible Camp volunteering at different ministries in Calgary. But God knew and He used Sunny to speak to me. All day it was like God was speaking directly to me from Sunny's mouth. At different times while I was at the door Sunny would come and encourage me, telling me I was doing such a great job even though all I was doing was holding open a door! Then later on in the day during their staff devotions we did some singing, I was sitting beside Sunny who had a throat infection which made his singing voice sound not so great. But it was the most beautiful sound I've heard in a long time because Sunny was praising God with all that was in Him. It made me think of how I don't give God my best; my first fruits, which is what he demands and deserves. After the devotions Sunny said goodbye to me and he said, "Thank you for coming today, you brought a spirit here that I've never seen before and I know it was from the Lord. Don't be scared to use the gifts God has given you, you are blessed and God wants you to work for the glory of His kingdom!" It was a profound moment in my life.

I'm thankful God brought an unlikely angel named Sunny into my life for a few brief hours. Thank you Sunny for being God's messenger to me.

Be Joyful WHEN?...

Be Joyful Always.

That's what it says right in the Bible, and I believe the Bible speaks truth into our lives. No matter how silly or hard it may seem. Still don't believe me it says this well let me show you...

"Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus." I Thessalonians 5:16-18

See, I wasn't joking! Paul was inspired to write those words. And for me those words became truth almost a year ago now. I'm sure you've all heard it before but let me tell you my story...

It was June 2007, a beautiful, sunny day at Silver Birch Bible Camp. It was staff training week and spirits were high. The only thing bothering me was that I had been experienceing headaches on the left side of my head all week. But I just shrugged them off. Anyhow, we were all sitting around the fire pit while Rick Shared a devotional thought. He spoke about I Thessalonians 5:16-18. While He was sharing I knew for certain that God wanted me to pay attention and make this right in my life. So after I got together with 2 of the other girls and asked them to pray for me; that I would give thanks in all circumstances this summer, be joyful no matter what and always be in prayer. Good enough.

It wasn't 4 days later at teen camp when I noticed that something funny was going on with my right eye. I was swimming and happened to close my left eye, that's when I noticed that things were distorted. Have you ever used a Mac computer photobooth? There is one setting you can use, I think it's called squeezed. That's what the world looked like through my right eye. At first I thought maybe it was because I was in the water and didn't have my glasses on so I continued on with teen camp life. By the end of the week I knew something wasn't right. Every time I closed my left eye the world was "squeezed". So when teen camp ended off I was taken to the emergency room in Meadow Lake. The doctor on call looked at me, listened to my explination and said, "I can't tell what's wrong because I'm not an eye doctor, but something is wrong." He proceeded to get in contact with the City Hospitol in Saskatoon, getting me in to see a specialist and get some tests done. That was Friday, the 6th.

On Monday (9th) my parents took me to Saskatoon. There I was faced with one of worst fears, eye drops! (Little did I know then that eye drops were nothing compared) After sitting with the eyedrops in I was seen by a Resident doctor (Who happened to be very good looking), he got out his magnifier and head lamp, reclined my seat and looked deeply into my eyes, sounds romantic huh! Well it wasn't. I don't know if you've ever been to an Ophthalmologist but it's not always pleasant. First there are the drops to numb your eyes, then there are the drops to enlargen your pupils, then the doctor puts a cold magnifier on the skin around your eye and pushes it in to get a better view. If they still aren't happy with the way they are seeing things you get the yellow dye eye drops. Anyway he finished looking at my eyes and proceeded to ask me questions. Was there anyone in my family with a history of MS? Had I ever been tested for Diabetes? Had I ever had a MRI preformed before? Did I know what MS was? Did the colour green appear reddish to me? Was there a dark shadow in my upper vision? On and on it went while he wrote in his little booklet about me. Suddenly he stopped, turned to me and said five words that changed my life, "I believe you have MS."

That's it, just five words. As soon as he said that my entire body shut down. I just stared at him, not even trying to stop the tears. He was talking about neurologist appointments, getting an MRI done as soon as possible, if I understood what MS was and meant. I heard him talking but none of it was sinking in at that moment. My dad came in, heard the doctor's diagnosis, asked what our next step was, grabbed my hand and walked me out of the hospitol. I was still crying, that was in Saskatoon. When we got to North Battleford I had just finally stopped crying.

I was sent to Meadow Lake right away that same night to recieve my first steroid treatment to get the inflimation in my eye nerves down. For the next 3 days I lived with an IV needle stuck in my hand going back to Meadow recieving more steroid treatments. And just in case your wondering, don't ever willingly take steroids. They really mess with your body and emotions.

For the next 21 days I lived with the belief that I had Multiple Sclerosis, it was a scary thing. That section of scripture up there, I Thessalonians 5:16-18, became what I lived by during those days. God really spoke to me in the fact that He truly is in control, even in the crazy times. When we feel like we are walking through a valley and the darkness will never end. Even in those moments to live in the joy of Christ's death and ressurection; in His love for us. I also learned what it means to "pray continually"; just to be in conversation with God every moment of the day. Telling Him what you are experiencing, feeling, scared of, joyful for. July was an intense month for me and I'm so greatful God told me to pay attention when Rick spoke on those verses. I was also thankful for my Silver Birch family. I continued working at camp during all of this and there were a lot of times when I know I was a horrible person to have around. But my friends supported me, prayed for me, allowed me to vent my fears and just were there walking alongside me in the journey. God has blessed me with amazing friends.

July 30th I was sceduled to have an MRI done (You know something serious is wrong when you get in that fast for an MRI) so my parents took me down again and I went to see the same good looking resident doctor for a check up before the MRI. I sat through the dreaded eyedrops again, and sat back as he examined my eyes. When he looked into my right eye I heard him make a small sound of wonder, then he looked again. He sat back and said, "We seem to have a problem" I though to myself, I already have MS what more of a problem could there be. He said it appeared my retina was now detached (he assured me it had not looked that way when he last saw me) and he was going to get his supervisor, the retina specialist, to come have a look. So in comes Dr. R. He gets on his head lamo and looks at my right eye while the good looking doctor keeps saying how my eye didn't look like that before. Dr. R. sits back and says, "Well that's been detached for at least a month, you need to get into surgery today if at all possible."

Thus began the whirlwind of activity that takes place before surgery. I wound up going home that night only to go back to Saskatoon the next day and be admitted into the City Hospitol. I was admitted at about 10:00 in the morning and given a bed in the surgery prep ward. Let me tell you, once you enter the surgery prep ward there are no more secrets! I spent the day in my bed, answering embarassing questions while the lady in the next bed along with her family listened, as well as recieving encouraging visits from poeple in my life. Finally at 10:15pm the call was made to start preparing me for surgery. This began the worst round of eye drops yet! I was then wheeled into the room just outside of the OR where I talked to the anesthetist about what drugs she was going to give me, then I was wheeled into the OR. It was kinda creepy. The last thing I remember was the IV going into my arm and the mask going over my mouth and nose.

Then there was the drug induced night after I was moved out of recovery. That night is all sort of hazy. I said some crazy things that made the nurses laugh and was in a lot of pain, I do remember that.

Morning came and along with it Dr. R (he was the one who preformed the surgery) with a huge smile on his face. He told me that everything had gone really well in the surgery. Although he had to make some last minute changes to the type of surgery he was going to do as he discovered my retina had been detached for an entire year! Then he told me, "I am 100% sure that this all means you do not have MS!" even in my still drugged up and sore state I was very happy! My good looking doctor along with some other student doctors came and had a look at my eye, turns out they had never seen a chronic retnal detachment at the City Hospitol before so all the students wanted a look at me! I waited for a while and then was released to go home...with more eye drops!

I still went for my MRI a couple days later, just to make sure. The results were normal (whatever that means!) and the doctors sent me home a very happy, blessed and greatful girl!

That was basically a really long story to say that God is awesome and He takes care of us. Even in those seasons of life where it seems like He isn't. We need to remember to pray about everything, living in the Joy of Christ and giving God thanks in ALL circumstances.

Clinging

"GOD is by my side no matter what terrain I cover-whether I'm in the wide, open meadow of joy

or on the tough climb through discouragement."

-Jody Houghton

late night rant...

I can't sleep. I dislike when this happens. Especially on a Saturday night, good thing I got someone to teach Sunday School in my place tomorrow. I don't think I will be a very happy camper come the morning.

I feel like there's so many things racing through my brain and I have no one that I can talk to about them. Most of it involves the church. I'm so angry with the church! And I have been for some time now. I'm just so sick of pretending, of plastic people who hide behind a mask every Sunday morning. What I am about to type out is a vent. Forgive me if I sound bitter, it's because I am.

GOD created mankind to be relational. First and foremost with Him but also with fellow man. I really believe that, correct me if I am heretical. But we aren't alone in this world, we are connected. GOD created us to be in fellowship with one another, obviously when sin entered the world that was messed up though. Now we live in such an induvidualistic world. We think of ourselves all the time and we do whatever we can to maintain our 'privacy' and put up walls to the rest of the world around us. I mean think of it, mp3 players, iPods, Nintendo DS, they all cut us off from people around us. And we do it in the church too.

Maybe it isn't the same for everybody (I really hope it's not) but my typical Sunday looks something like this...I wake up and look through my closet wondering what will be acceptable to wear. By acceptable I don't mean appropriate I mean that I wonder what I can wear that people won't judge me for. I never do that on any other day of the week, I wear what I am comfortable in. But for some reason on Sundays I feel like I have to step it up a few notches and wear things that I normally wouldn't wear because its "church approved". Then I go to church and I sing the songs, I listen to the announcments and then comes my favourite part, prayer and praise time.

The prayer requests are never personal. Never. It's always for someone else in the family, or a family in town that we know is going through something hard or different events that the church is having. For a while I would shake things up and throw in something personal about myself and what I was going through. Not all the time, just every few months or so. I could tell it made people uncomfortable and I stopped after I realized that even when they prayed for my request it was made into a generalization for everyone in the church and not just me, what I was going through.

Then comes the sermon. No comment.

I'm so tired of being angry and bitter. It's hindering my relationship with GOD and it's hindering my relationships within the church, but I don't know who I can talk to about it that will actually listen. I don't know how to make things better.

I suppose first I have to start with me and fix my attitude. It's bad. But it's so hard, every Sunday the cycle starts again and I leave church either bitter or very, very sad.

The Meaning of a Hug

Arms go out to another in a warm embrace. The gesture is self-explanatory, "I include you in my circle of caring." A hug is a spontaneous signal of acceptance. A hug holds a universe of silent meaning. Loving mothers hug their babies. Parents hug children of all ages. In all of humanity, embracing is a symbol of togetherness and belonging.

Our Father in Heaven will greet each of us back into his presence with a hug. Christ reaches with outstretched arms to enfold each of us in his love.

Hugs are loaded with benefits. "Hugging is healthy: it helps our body's immune system, it keeps you healthier, it cures depression, it reduces stress, it induces sleep, it's invigorating, it's rejuvenating, it has no unpleasant side effects, and hugging is nothing less than a miracle drug." (Author unknown, from Adventures With Personology) Hugs benefit both the giver and the receiver. Renowned psychologist Leo Buscaglia stresses the importance of daily supplements of hugs. Every person needs at least three hugs every day. Husbands, wives, parents and children all have their own minimum daily requirement of heartfelt affection. More hugs would improve our overall well-being.

Rules For Hugging:

1. Let your hug be pure, meaning simply, "I care for you."

2. A hug is neutral territory. By closing the space with your loved one, there is no room in that moment for disagreements or grudges--only acceptance, understanding and sympathy.

3. "To everything there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven ... a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing" (from Ecclesiastes, or the Preacher 3). If you aren't sure if it's the right time for a hug, it's appropriate to ask.

4. A hug may only be given, not taken.

5. A request for a hug from your spouse should never be left ungranted.

6. Live in the moment of a hug. Don't let anything distract your attention. From an early age, our little one seemed to be aware of everything going on around him. He was so aware that, when I wanted to cuddle, it was like trying to hug a radar antenna. He was eager to absorb and assimilate the whole world in every moment. He was everywhere except in the hug. I resigned myself, thinking that was the price to loving a baby genius. But as he grew he became more cuddly. Now at 15 months, he melts into hugs and enjoys cuddling to sleep like other babies. For small children, a hug is a moment of eternity. Sometimes they can sustain a hug forever, without being distracted by the cares of the world. We can learn a lot from babies.

Let our hugs be pure and our affection for our loved ones genuine.